When you’re talking to a girl that you’re attracted to, it’s important that you avoid the ‘friends only zone’ right from the beginning. The easiest way to do this is to engage her emotions when you’re talking to her. Remember: a woman is listening to you on ALL levels. The biggest mistake most guys make is talking at a women, instead of talking to a woman.
The following tips will show you be more charismatic when you talk to girl.
1.Fun and Interesting, Not Boring or Predictable
You want the conversation to be unforced and flowing. Try to keep the discussion fun and informal. Talk about interesting stories from your life or emotionally relevant highlights from the past few days. When you talk to a woman, emote your passions and ask about hers. Many girls can talk for hours about how men are different from women, so any topics related to this will almost always lead the conversation in the right direction.
Avoid topics that tend to be boring to women. Don’t talk about the last football game you watched, unless she is the one percent of women who actually give a rat’s ass about football. Avoid negative topics, like why you hate your job or how your coworkers annoys the hell out of you. Try not to talk about anything related to your own bad health, such as your headache or stomach ache, as this will make you come across as a complainer. NEVER whine, bitch or complain.
Controversial topics should also be avoided. It’s possible that you hold views that could disqualify you in her eyes. If she brings up a topic such as politics or religion, try not to disagree with her, but don’t be spineless. It’s up to you to take the ball and redirect the conversation to something else more fun.
2.Confident and Funny, Not Cocky
The idea behind the cocky/funny concept is that you want to combine being cocky with being funny with the right balance. This combination works great IF you’re get the right balance of cockiness and humor calibrated to the type of woman you’re talking to. Remember, if you’re trying too hard to be funny, you’ll come across as goofy. On the other hand, if you’re too cocky and push your limits a little too far, then you’ll come across as arrogant.
Don’t make the same mistake as I did by overdoing it. I’ve had more success talking to a woman by lowering the cockiness by a couple notches. Women do not like arrogance. The sweet spot is being able to convey that you are confident without having to prove it. If she gives you a compliment, simply say “thank you” with a content smile on your face, as if you’re used to getting compliments from women all the time. No need to return a compliment simply because she gave you one first.
Being a little cocky at times is okay and is great for building the sexual tension; just make sure you combine it with equal dosages of funny. Check out some David Letterman or Howard Stern to get an idea of how they combine cockiness with humor. They always seem to have a wise ass thing to say, but the women always seem to be laughing. This can be very powerful if you get the right mix.How do you know if it’s working? She’s laughing.
3. Attentive, Not Stuck In Your Head
Keep strong eye contact while listening and talking to woman, but don’t overdo it. A lot of guys first learn about eye contact from dating guides, but they overdo it and end up looking socially inept or even weird. If your eyes are constantly locked on hers, she will feel uncomfortable. That being said, try not to look down too much as you’ll come across as insecure or unsure of yourself.
Get a feel for the type of girl she is by analyzing her body language and mannerisms. Try to get inside her head to understand the true meaning of what she’s saying. The more you are focused on her, the less you will feel self conscious. Shy guys are often overly worried about messing up the date that they spend most of the date in their own head, feeling somewhat tense as if they were at a job interview. An easy way to remove any self consciousness is to intently LISTEN. Ask genuine questions. Remember details of what she tells you, no matter how insignificant they might seem. This pays big dividends the next time you meet her when you bring up some small detail she talked about earlier, proving to her how great a listener you are.
4.Genuine, Not Approval Seeking
When talking to a girl, you should always compliment her, right? After all, women love compliments don’t they? Well, not necessarily. Women like GENUINE compliments. Don’t compliment her by saying “I really like your watch” waiting for her to acknowledge your kindness. This will only backfire on you as her defenses will come up when she notices you’re seeking her approval. Women have almost a sixth sense when it comes to reading phoniness, so no need to try to fake it. Compliment, but make it casual and authentic. Don’t overdo it. One genuine compliment on the first date is enough. Each compliment following the first will lose its effectiveness (something like 100%, 50%, 20%…) until the compliments will actually annoy her.